Malaysia...

I was selected to attend the National Service Training Programme, 3rd batch this year, which started in mid June... But I'm having my Form Six, so I've sent in the deferment letter in May... I'm still not gatteing any replies from them... And I wouldn't want to attend it AFTER my uni... I then called them and asked if I could attend it after my STPM. They told me that my deferment letter is STILL under proccess. I have to WAIT until I get the reply letter so that I can reply to that letter stating when I could attend NS, and WAIT for it to be proccessed...

I'm currently...

feeling very down...
feeling empty...
feeling lost...
hearing voices...
losing the excitement that I used to have while doing things I like...
losing appetite...
feeling hopeless, helpless...

I don't like this... I hate myself for being so... Unexpressive, demotivated, dead... ... ...